K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
