For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think your dad took our porno
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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