Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
