Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
