While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
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Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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