I didn't shave. On purpose
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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