Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
