Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
