All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
