Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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