At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
