Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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