i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
