Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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