Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize