I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
