I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
