he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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