Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
