Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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