He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
