Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
