Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Randomize
