I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Two words: blizzard sex
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
