i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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