You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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