I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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