I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
