I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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