I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
