she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
