worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
