She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
