Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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