when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
