Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.