My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old