im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.