Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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  (816): you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell. http://tfl.nu/74j4
  Replies (30) Good night (1012) Bad night (3802)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

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  (571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd
  Replies (25) Good night (5938) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.

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  (267): I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe. http://tfl.nu/k42a
  Replies (5) Good night (2690) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.

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  (262): He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too. http://tfl.nu/5j5p
  Replies (19) Good night (1608) Bad night (2974)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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  (530): Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober' http://tfl.nu/1n5d
  Replies (3) Good night (2871) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  porn star boner night. come get it.

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  (919): porn star boner night. come get it. http://tfl.nu/vz2z
  Replies (5) Good night (2869) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions

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  (813): I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions http://tfl.nu/060m
  Replies (6) Good night (2439) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.

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  (210): If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever. http://tfl.nu/5js7
  Replies (8) Good night (4260) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.

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  (931): I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s. http://tfl.nu/244n
  Replies (12) Good night (3008) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

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  (270): You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/j0k2
  Replies (16) Good night (1762) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?

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  (906): does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex? http://tfl.nu/8dql
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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  (816): I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome. http://tfl.nu/4io1
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.

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  (305): I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up. http://tfl.nu/mcl9
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY

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  (406): if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY http://tfl.nu/qo5y
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.

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  (281): Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/2igt
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (281)

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