Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who is canola oil?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're an idiot.

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  (610): can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans (1-610): who is canola oil? (610): you're an idiot. http://tfl.nu/vy3c
  Replies (64) Good night (3057) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.

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  (760): Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin. http://tfl.nu/jqr4
  Replies (22) Good night (617) Bad night (5139)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.

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  (850): At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me. http://tfl.nu/6dky
  Replies (18) Good night (827) Bad night (3723)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.

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  (317): you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american. http://tfl.nu/y2yd
  Replies (24) Good night (6437) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.

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  (859): he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day. http://tfl.nu/iow4
  Replies (44) Good night (896) Bad night (8127)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you had an obligation.

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  (913): So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right? (314): you had an obligation. http://tfl.nu/0hhp
  Replies (20) Good night (7992) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation

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  (573): just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch (636): Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving? (573): IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation http://tfl.nu/yr3e
  Replies (29) Good night (7005) Bad night (2228)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.

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  (812): You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation. http://tfl.nu/u8wd
  Replies (5) Good night (2641) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".

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  (724): He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming". http://tfl.nu/90md
  Replies (4) Good night (1816) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.

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  (423): pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards. http://tfl.nu/9pdc
  Replies (10) Good night (3465) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off

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  (603): she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off http://tfl.nu/ws61
  Replies (7) Good night (5058) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.

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  (928): So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something. http://tfl.nu/zx0n
  Replies (9) Good night (1227) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could

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  (803): Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could http://tfl.nu/i42k
  Replies (5) Good night (1303) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?

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  (845): Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ? http://tfl.nu/zpud
  Replies (8) Good night (1373) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded

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  (608): At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded http://tfl.nu/pkjm
  Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (237)

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