i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
