dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
