I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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