wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize