The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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