I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
