Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
