The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
