I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
