the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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