Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
