So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize