don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
