member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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