Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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