hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
