So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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