So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
