Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Operation Purity has been aborted
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
