I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All I want is dick and wine.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
