did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
